I am a man...

I am a man of today's workforce. I live in a world of Expense Reports, Financial Reports, Customer Satisfaction Reports, and Performance Reports. I exist to pay health insurance companies; the federal, state, and city governments; 70 year olds on Social-Security; as well as the beer and cigar manufacturers that help me forget the bad days.

I have been on e-mail chains discussing which pencil sharpener works best. I have been questioned for purchasing the nicer toilet paper rather than the one that is $5 cheaper per box of 50. I have chosen sides in the DHL vs. UPS battle (Brown's got my back).

I have marked down people in an interview for dressing casually while wearing a casual Friday ensemble of baseball cap, tee-shirt and cargo shorts. I can match my ties to my emotional state while wishing I could wear them every day.

I have role played how to handle every conversation and learned how the sweetest sound an upset customer can make is "I want to speak to your manager". I know that *67 is the saving grace that keeps your cell phone number private from your customers.

I take it and run with it, get the ball rolling, attempt to make slam dunk sales, have faceoffs with the competition, and hope to be on the fast track to a promotion. I overuse FYI and ASAP.

I live for raises and bonuses, the experiences, the relief of job stability and security, the people I have the privilege of hiring and managing, and a good old fashioned "job well done".

I am a manager. Now go do what I tell you to.