Gay Old Time

I saw an interesting segment on the news last night. It was about a religious camp for homosexuals. Immediately I was against it because I think that being gay is due to nature and it isn't a choice. I've heard of similar camps before and stories of people who are sent by their ashamed parents and are expected to change because someone throws a Bible in front of them. I was surprised when the people interviewed said that they chose to go to the camp and that they are still gay. They said the camp just taught them to surpress their desires. They wanted to do this because they believe acting out on their homosexuality is a sin.

I think this is interesting because they admit that being gay isn't a choice, but know that acting on those desires is a choice that conflicts with their religious beliefs. So would the Catholic church acknowledge this to - that being gay isn't a choice? I don't think so.

I don't know if homosexuality is a sin or not - that's up to God to decide. I do know that privacy should remain a freedom we enjoy in the U.S. I also think that a political party that argues for a government that doesn't interfere in citizens lives' is being hypocritical by opposing gay marriage. You know how wrong and inhumane we think that the generations before us treated minorities? Before they claimed minorities were inferior due to science, now people are claiming gays are due to religion. I think that our children will look back at the way we mock homosexuals and deny them some of the same rights we enjoy and wonder how we could've rationalized it. Evidence: While all of the states (including my own) banned gay marriage last year, many college towns (again, including my own) were opposing the measures in large numbers. Who is a threat to the "institution of marriage" more - people who get married 5 times or a committed gay couple?

Listen to Your Heart

No, this is not a sentimental or philosophical post. I am referring to the song that I (and Kevin) always hear during work. One of the local radio stations plays the song "Listen to your Heart" by some group called DHT at least 5 times a day. I kinda liked it at first, but now it is starting to grind on me.

I hate my car. Now the battery is dead and I need to take it in to get a new one. I am very appreciative that my rents gave it to me and it is not that old. I just worry about the day my dad expects me to start paying to fix it. I am just glad to have gotten out of the Quiznos (mmm...toasty) parking lot last night.

I slowly am becoming a real employee here. I have my phone set up and most of the right keys and a security code. Now I only need business cards and an e-mail address. And a raise. Not holding my breath for that last one.

Wedding Crashers is hilarious. It is like a really good "MTV Movie Awards" sketch that lasts 2 hours. "Well, the girl with the hat just eye fucked the shit out of me." Haha... just go see it.

I drove the wrong way down a One Way street the other day. It was a first for me. I didn't see any signs as I turned out of the McDonalds. I saw someone do the same thing today and I thought "What an idiot, he shouldn't be driving. Oh, wait..."

Tomorrow the newest Red Sox Commemorative DVD comes out. This one has the complete ALCS and World Series games. Of course I am going to buy it. Smart marketing ploy... come out with multiple DVDs that briefly recap all of games, then sell poeple the actual games themselves for $90. You can buy it on mlb.com for $120, but it comes with a free baseball cap valued at $30. I still don't understand the economics of paying $30 more to get a free hat. If the Sox don't make the ALCS this year, I am going to watch the games from last year instead of this year and pretend they won again. Then I am going to do something nice for my girlfriend to convince her to not be pissed at me for spending all of my time watching old baseball games.

New Hockey League

I am excited for tomorrow - the day NHL execs will be scrambling to fill up their rosters and find their way below the new salary cap. I am scared about my team - the Detroit Redwings. I know we will see a different team since their last roster earned about twice the new salary cap. I've heard McCarty might have to go. I'm sad if he leaves, but the one thing that would be the saddest is the loss of Steve Yzerman. He is one of the most underrated players in the NHL. If he is bought out or retires, then that will be the most unfortunate outcome of the lockout. He deserves the chance to try for another title as a Redwing and to have the spotlight when he retires.

Tomorrow night, I will have free time. First time since Wednesday (no joke). At least my bank account just topped 5K today. Cheers to that.

Best Lunch Break Ever

Let me preface this story by saying that I didn't really have lunch breaks at my old job. We ate at our desks while we worked. Nothing fun ever happened. Onto the awesome story.

Day 3 at the new job was very boring. I still don't have too much to do... I am probably the only person who would complain about not having anything to do at work. Anyway, back to the story. A few of the guys invited me to go to lunch with them. I didn't really want to go, but I went anyway because I want to make friends. We drove 15 miles to someone's barbeque after buying some beer. Don't worry, we didn't drink on our lunch break. It was a payment for the lunch. When we started driving into the country, I got a little nervous... like I was about to be on Punk'd... even though I'm not a celebrity. We pull up to this nice house with a pond and a pool. I think the more sources of water one has, the richer they are. We get out of the car and two really hot girls come out of the house. (I love my girlfriend.) The girl who lives there turns out to be the daughter of a certain car dealership owner. They bought over $100 worth of food for our barbeque. So, we grill up some burgers and some hot dogs with the hot girls by the pool. When we got back to work, we had been gone an hour and a half. And we didn't get in trouble at all. A fun lunch makes any boring work day better!

Day One

Starting the new job at a certain minor league baseball team. Fun news: I get an e-mail address and business cards. I've been in meetings with each department all day to learn what they do and how it affects me. Beyond that, I find myself in a familiar situation where I don't have anything to currently do. Which is why I am updating my incredibly popular blog. I did make new signage for an upcoming event. I would laminate it like I am supposed to, but nobody told me where that is. Game time is less than an hour away (hopefully) but it might rain. For the first time ever as an employee here, I don't want it to rain, because that will mean a doubleheader at some point, which will mean more working hours. I am excited for things, but right now I just have that awkward first day unfamiliarity. And nobody is here and nobody has anything for me to do. Which is strangely familiar from my last job. Time to hunt down that laminator...

Oh, and the Pistons made a mistake by letting LB go. Pound for pound...

A New Beginning

I did it. Today, I gave in. I joined a club that I never understood. I bought a Nalgene/Moosejaw bottle. Well, not really... I bought mine at Meijer. I will be working long days starting tomorrow (scary) and the only water fountains in the park are gross. So, I bought a durable, plastic bottle. A "Nalgene-esque" bottle. For four years, I have seen sorority girls and "guys who are really into fitness" (see also: arrogant metros) walking around campus with those hard plastic bottles. You might be asking yourself, "Adam, so what? They like having 1000ml of refreshing water on hand whenever they get parched." It's more than the Nalgene bottle... there's a Nalgene culture. Everyone knows the importance of those little bottles to campus - our commencement student speaker even mentioned them in her speech. So that's my Nalgene bottle confession.

Whenever I see someone who is disabled, I feel bad. A lot of people do, but I feel really bad. Like I am spoiled and waste my life writing a story about a water bottle. (Oops) At Meijer, a woman in a motor cart asked me to get her a bottle of milk for her. I felt bad for her disability, but damn was that cart fast. I bet she got done with her shopping in half the time it took me because of that cart. Disabled kids make me the saddest.

I am excited because Stacey and I are planning a little 3 day getaway to Mackinac Island after the season is over. We have it all planned out and we're making it our Christmas gift to each other. I can't wait! But for now, I start a new job tomorrow with a new "Nalgene Bottle". I have to come up with some name for it that makes me sound less gay.

White Trash America

I read a lot of "watercooler" articles at work, which will probably end today since this is my last day at work. Today I came across a few that I had to share.
ALBANY, N.H. — A 45-year-old man was arrested after a teenage girl noticed him looking at her from the depths of a toilet seat in a New Hampshire outhouse, police said. Carroll County law enforcement officials said they do not know how Gary Moody was in the sewage tank of the log cabin outhouse but they had to decontaminate him before they formally arrested him June 27.

If you wonder where people like this come from...

BARTLESVILLE, Okla. Jul 14, 2005 — A woman has been arrested on child neglect charges after giving birth while drunk, police said. Melissa Irene Tanner, 37, is accused of having a blood alcohol content close to three times the legal limit when she gave birth to a baby girl on June 30... Tanner reportedly has six other children.

Mechanical Boob Feelers

Haha... I love that title. Haha... I said title. Anywho, this story pops up on the Engineering Website. Some professor made a mechanical device that allows him to perform a breast exam on women who are in another location. Read More Too...many...jokes....brain overload! Let's see... "Reach out and Touch Som..." No, too easy. "First the robot takes them out to dinn..." No, not funny. "The best male-substitute for women since the vibrator." Eh, do women really want to get felt up by a machine? Some probably do. Scary. I'm at a loss for the best joke. Anyone want to help me out on this one?

Petoria and Other Made Up Places

From an msn.com article by Matt Crenson
"By those criteria, the most successful made-up nation would have to be Sealand. Englishman Roy Bates founded Sealand in 1967 by occupying an abandoned World War II artillery platform 7 miles off the coast of Britain. He proclaimed it an independent state and named himself Prince Roy of Sealand.

Soon after, Bates tested his country's sovereignty by firing warning shots at a Royal Navy buoy tender passing nearby. He was brought before an English court, but a judge refused to hear the case on the basis that Sealand lay beyond British territorial waters. Since then Britain has extended its territorial waters to a distance of 12 miles from the coast but so has Sealand, insisting that the waters between the two countries be split down the middle.

About a decade after the shooting incident, three associates of Bates landed on Sealand with the intention of discussing a business proposition. Bates was not there, but his son Michael the Prince Regent was. A disagreement ensued, and the men ended up imprisoning the prince in Sealand's kitchen.

...Does this remind anyone else of that episode of Family Guy where he claims the land around his house is Petoria?

Home Run Derby

I am excited for the All Star Game and Home Run Derby. Yes, the AL team is dominated by Orioles, Yankees, and Red Sox. But that's because these players have been putting up the numbers for the big teams. If the AL best White Sox could match the star power of the AL East, they'd have a couple of starters too. I do have a small problem with the Home Run Derby lineup. They have decided to take a representative from eight countries that are represented in the MLB. The players that we will see tonight will be exciting, for the most part. However, only 3 of the 8 are starting in the ASG tomorrow night.

The line up is: Bobby Abreu, Jason Bay, Hee-Seop Choi, Andruw Jones, Carlos Lee, David Ortiz, Ivan Rodriguez, and Mark Texeira. In my opinion, Ortiz, Jones, and Texeira are good. Hee-Seop Choi is tied for 51st and Jason Bay is tied for 30th in the home run column, so they're out. The Yankees, Orioles, and Cardinals, 3 of the teams with the most ASG Reps, have no HR Derby representation. Hmm... the fans apparently love those teams, so why aren't they in the Derby? While Ivan Rodriguez is the only Tiger in the ASG, he has 6 home runs so far. That's one less than the number of HRs Jason Giambi has hit in 32 games. If the Tigers have to be represented, why not give non-All Star Dimitri Young a spot. How fucking awesome would it be to see David Ortiz and "The Best Player in Baseball According to Kevin" in the finals. The tiebreaker could be a hot dog eating competition. If it is unfair to give a non-All Star a spot, then give the HR Derby spot to someone more deserving than Rodriguez.

Since I am the authority on so many things in sports, and because I am positive that the Major League cares what I have to say, I came up with my own HR Derby roster. There is a little bit of debate over the last spot due to injuries, evening the AL/NL representatives, and the "Should the Tigers get a spot?" debate. My list contains 4, 5, or even 6 All Star Game starters.
Definite:
Andruw Jones
Mark Texeira
Alex Rodriguez (As much as I hate him, he is one of the biggest names in baseball)
Albert Pujols
Daaaaaavid ORTIZ!
Morgan Ensberg - Replaces Choi or Bay as a "lesser known from the NL" because he has hit more dingers
Miguel Tejada

Choose One:
Dimitri Young - if the Tigers must get a spot and a non-All Star is allowed
Paul Konerko - A lot of HRs and he's from the best team in MLB right now
Derrek Lee - I'm pretty sure his injury is keeping him out of the Derby
Bobby Abreu - Maybe MLB was right.... nah

Michigan State Spirit

From a July 8th Lansing State Journal article on MSU students studying abroad in London:
"She canceled class then began searching for the students absent from class. After three hours, she found the last two inside a pub, watching television reports of the attacks."
I'm sure they only went to the pub to watch the news. Michigan State spirit lives on in England...

I found a gray hair growing from the middle of my forehead this morning...

Can I just say that I've dealt with more complex phone calls today than I've ever had to in the past year. For example: one caller got pissed that I didn't know who Dennis was. Finally I figured out he meant our secretary Denise when he kept referring to Dennis as "her". And my day (8am to 10:30pm) is only half over. I hope that the people at the stadium tonight know how to tip and won't be assholes to me. Today made me fear my internship schedule a little more.

Dinner Table Discussions

Things discussed recently over dinner at my parents house:
1) My mom didn't know that anything beyond soft core porn was legal. My sister went into an 8 minute story about the porn/AIDS scare that happened in California last year.
2) My sister recalled the time her ex-boyfriend dropped acid and was tripping for a whole day. Apparently they fell in love with a candle and a sandwich maker.
3) My dad innocently said he would "toss his own salad". After my sister and I busted out laughing, we refused to explain the slang meaning. Five minutes later, my mom insists that she knows what it is because it can also be called "a slang term that begins with R" We also decided it is impossible to "toss one's own salad". If you know how it is possible, please keep it to yourself.
4) My mom used some outdated metaphor about cleaning up a dirty wet horse before you put her away that sounded like something women do after sex. (My parents' metaphors are very outdated)

I might have 2 sisters and my parents have a happy marriage and a white fence, but we aren't really a normal family.

...Also, in my sleepy daze this morning I accidentally shaved my sideburns back to normal length. May they rest in peace.

Top 46 Songs EVER

Why did I decide to make a list of the Top 46 instead of the Top 50? Because I am a rebel. And because I am impatient. Some of the things I considered when choosing the list was how much emotion the song provokes, how unique it is, and how much energy it has. Each person only gets one song, otherwise I'd have a list full of Guster, U2, and Beatles. Here's the list... now trash it. Just tell me what you think should be different, asshole.

1. U2 “All I Want Is You”
2. Guster “Demons”
3. Rent Original Cast “Seasons of Love”
4. Incubus “Wish You Were Here”
5. Beatles “In My Life”
6. Eminem “Lose Yourself”
7. Foo Fighters “Times Like These” (acoustic)
8. Live “Lightning Crashes”
9. Simple Minds “Don’t You Forget About Me”
10. John Lennon “Imagine”
11. Elton John “Your Song”
12. Ray Charles “Georgia On My Mind”
13. Simon & Garfunkel “Bridge Over Troubled Waters”
14. Lynard Skynard “Sweet Home Alabama”
15. Beastie Boys “Sabotage”
16. Frank Sinatra “I’ve Got The World on a String”
17. Al Green “Let’s Stay Together”
18. Kanye West “All Falls Down”
19. Buffalo Springfield “For What It’s Worth”
20. Trick Daddy “Let’s Go”
21. Smashing Pumpkins “Tonight, Tonight”
22. AC/DC “Thunderstruck”
23. Jay-Z “Can I Get A…”
24. Nine Inch Nails “Hurt”
25. Red Hot Chili Peppers “My Friends”
26. Bush “Glycerine”
27. Jeff Buckley “Hallelujah”
28. Nirvana “Heart Shaped Box”
29. Michael Jackson “The Way You Make Me Feel”
30. Linkin Park “In the End”
31. Carly Simon “Let The River Run”
32. Ben Harper “Beloved One”
33. Billy Joel “Goodnight Saigon”
34. White Snake “Here I Go Again”
35. Guns N Roses “November Rain”
36. Coldplay “The Scientist”
37. Weezer “Say It Aint So”
38. Dave Matthews Band “Ants Marching”
39. Postal Service “Such Great Heights”
40. Bob Dylan “How Does It Feel”
41. Harry Chapin “Cat’s in the Cradle”
42. Franz Ferdinand “Take Me Out”
43. Tupac Shakur “Changes”
44. Ronan Tynan’s “God Bless America” at Yankee games
45. The Verve “Bittersweet Symphony”
46. Johnny Cash “Folsom Prison Blues”